


Comes and Goes

by toyoto031999



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Derek is a Failwolf, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not endgame sterek, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stiles Leaves Beacon Hills, Stiles Needs a Hug, Stiles is Pushed Out of the Pack, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Pack Being Idiots, or maybe everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-06-26 19:38:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15669933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toyoto031999/pseuds/toyoto031999
Summary: It takes a lot for people to break. And Stiles is at his breaking point.





	1. Chapter 1

The stars shined brightly that night, too brightly, if you asked Stiles. But no one asked him much these days. They were amazing, the stars that is, bright and beautiful. Stiles sometimes felt like them. Not because he thought he was bright and beautiful, not at all, but because as bright as they were they didn’t matter. They were an ignored entity. Something that’s just there but you don’t notice it. Not unless it disappears. And he wondered if he disappeared, would someone notice? .Like if one day all of the stars died, how many nights would it take for people to realize that something is missing. And he wonders how long it will take for people to realize that he’s gone.  
It started with the small things. Like unanswered texts, incomplete conversations, someone speaking over him when he was talking, not listening to what he was saying, or talking about parties or hangouts between the pack during lunch at school that he hadn’t been invited to nor knew about. You know small things. But he was smart, always had been. So he noticed and he never had been shy so he asked. He didn’t corner Scott because he knew he’d just run away, instead he invited him over for video games and after cancelling and rain checking one too many times, Scott came over.  
The answer he received wasn’t anything more than lame excuses and made up stories but Stiles swallowed the bitter pill and let it go. He was still invited to pack meetings but things were definitely different. For one, the only space left for him whenever he came to pack meetings was the love seat or a chair, away from the rest of the pack, who would all pile on the couch or on the floor next to it, always near, always touching. He understood that, he had studied wolves and their behavior, pack dynamics and all that shebang. What he didn’t understand was why he wasn’t part of that. Because he researched and read the books borrowed from Deaton page by page and what was happening to him was that the pack was rejecting him.   
The other thing that he didn’t understand was Derek. Because he had never been close to Derek. They always fought, Derek didn’t like to be questioned and Stiles took that as a challenge. They were always at each other’s throats. The closest they had come to was grudging allies. But then they had become pack and the fights had changed to arguments and then to childish bickering. And they had learned to respect each other slowly but surely, trust and accept each other. At least until Stiles stopped existing for Derek. Derek stopped talking to him, responding to his jokes and ignored him when Stiles talked to him. At first Stiles thought he had done something wrong, said something wrong so he prodded and asked but it was like talking to a brick wall, so he stopped.  
But then the small things turned to big things, everyone stopped talking to him, started ignoring him. But he persisted and asked them again and again till the Radio silence turned to outright hostility and so Stiles stopped. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have friends anymore.  
You know, people don’t just break, they don’t just leave, there’s always a reason behind it. And it’s not always something big and drastic that makes you jump of a bridge or start walking down the road without ever looking back. Sometimes it’s the small, minuscule things that crack your heart little by little, chip away your pieces one at a time. You don’t even feel it coming. It’s just one more word or thing and suddenly you’re in pieces and you can’t breathe and thinking about staying makes you feel numb and cold.  
So there were a lot of reasons behind Stiles’ decision. Being ignored by all of his friends was a big part of it. Derek ignoring him didn’t help either, especially because his heart just couldn’t help but fixate on an unattainable person, his Dad pretending he didn’t exist after realizing that Stiles had been lying to him for months and being introduced to the supernatural, well that certainly was a hard blow. All these things broke him little by little but he still held on because he loved them and needed them and just couldn’t in any way live without them. The thought of leaving didn’t even occur to him until….  
The day started of fairly well. Stiles woke up on time, took a shower got dressed and had enough time for a quick breakfast, he even found a good parking spot and by the time he got to his locker to take out his books he was in a fairly good mood. Until everything came crashing down. Quite literally, because some jock from the football team had knocked into him and his shoulder crashed painfully against his own locker and the graceful person that he was, he fell down on his ass. The entire corridor exploded with laughter as the jock high-fived his goonies. Stiles looked around and he saw Scott and Isaac pass by him without even sparing him a glance too immersed in their own conversation. And suddenly Stiles was angry. “Watch where you’re going faggot”, the football team snickered. The words barely registered in his mind before he was up and his fist was connecting with the guy’s face. Now Stiles always was a talk your way out of trouble kind of guy and his physique supported that but in the last few months he had fought enough monsters that the football team didn’t seem like a big thing. Before the guy could recover he swung again and hit the guy square in the stomach, that’s as far as he got because the next second, the rest of the football team was surrounding him and he couldn’t pin where the blows were coming from. It was only a few moments before a teacher was calling them out and saving his ass, It was just his luck that it was Douchebag Harris and so avoiding the clear evidence the football team only got an earful while he got the detention.  
By the time he was free from detention he was mentally and physically exhausted, his left eye was swollen shut and he was sure that his body was littered with bruises. He dragged himself to his car and drove home. He was surprised to see his father’s car in the driveway though because for the last few weeks the Sheriff had been taking continuous shifts and only came home late at night and left way before Stiles woke up. A childish urge came over him to hug his dad, to talk to him, to argue with him over the snacks he was allowed to eat so he rushed inside forgetting all about his pain. He opened the door to find the Sheriff lacing up his boots, in uniform. His heart dropped, ”Hey Dad, you going back in?”. The Sheriff looked up at him and for a second his face was filled with worry. Stiles realized he was looking at his swollen eyes so he tried to cover it with his nonexistent hair, “Some- some guy at school thought it’d be funny to-“, he barely stammered out but the Sherriff cut him off,” Save it” he said curtly and walked out of the door. Stiles felt the tears gather in his eyes and he quickly rubbed at them.  
He needed to talk to someone, he needed someone so much, he felt like he was falling apart. But he had no one. His dad wouldn’t talk to him, his friends ignored him so he got into his car and drove to the one person who he hoped, this once, wouldn’t turn him down. He drove to Derek’s loft in a kind of trance. He parked his car barely noticing his surroundings and walked up the stairs to the third floor because the elevator in the building always had been faulty. He knocked on the giant metal doors of the loft. A few moments later, Peter was sliding the door open and smirking at him haughtily like usual. “Hello there Stiles, haven’t seen you here in while, run into a wall before coming here?”, he drawled. Stiles was too exhausted to bicker with Peter so he ignored the jibe, ”Hey Peter, Derek home?”, he said instead. Peter seemed surprised by his behavior so he simply nodded and opened the door some more as an invitation. Stiles muttered quick thanks that seemed to surprise Peter even more and he walked towards the living area from where he could hear voices. The second he did though he regretted coming in the first place because the entire pack was there watching a movie on the T.V, laughing and eating. As soon as he stepped inside the room everyone’s attention snapped to him. For a few seconds there was complete silence before Derek said, ”What are you doing here?”, Stiles looked at him and his eyes were hard and he wondered why he thought this was a good idea in the first place .”I……I needed something but- but forget it” he replied and turned around. The sad expression on Peter’s face almost made him lose it and bawl his eyes out but he steeled himself and walked out. No one called after him. He wished they had.  
That was the time the last piece shattered too. Stiles doesn’t really remember the next month and a half. It went by too fast yet too slow. Everyday a repeat of the previous one. Complete silence. Utter loneliness. Stiles was numb, unable to feel even hurt. His world was made of school, his room and his life falling apart in front of his eyes. He doesn’t remember taking the finals but suddenly he’s done with the school year and its summer.   
It was a week into summer while he was sitting at his desk doodling that he realized he couldn’t remember what he had done last night. He thought back and he knew that he played some video games till seven and he slept at 3 am in the morning but he couldn’t remember what he had done in between. He thought further back and realized he had memory blanks, some only a few hours but some days long. He just couldn’t remember what he had done or how so many days passed. It’s like he had been doused in ice cold water. He wracked his brain, and tried again and again but he just couldn’t remember. He remembered how his mother always complained about losing time, how she couldn’t remember things shortly after she did them. Stiles felt tears sliding down his face as his lungs struggled to draw in air. He couldn’t breathe. His vision blurred. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew this was a panic attack but he couldn’t get it under control. He tried counting his fingers but the world wouldn’t stop swimming and as he fell down he wished ……  
He woke up on the floor and he couldn’t find it in himself to get up. The only thought in his head was that he couldn’t put his dad through it again. Couldn’t see him suffer like he did with mom. It would kill him .He had to go, leave somewhere far where he would suffer alone without destroying the people he loved. He thought again and again and again. On one side he could keep living like this until things got too out of hand and his dad realized or he could escape this hell hole, suffer alone and die without putting his dad through the misery. The choice was obvious so he packed a bag. Only the essentials, his clothes, some sweaters, a few protein bars and all the money he had which wasn’t much so he grabbed his card and drove to the nearest bank and took out all his cash. Then he sat down to write something for his dad. He couldn’t have dad coming after him, if his dad even cared that is. After writing and re writing, he had a fairly acceptable note so he put it on his bed along with his mobile and laptop and walked out.  
It would take almost a month for someone to realize he’s gone and it would be years before he comes back.  
Dear Dad,  
I’m leaving. By my own free will. No one is forcing me too. I just need to get out of here. This town, its toxic and I want to get as far away from it as possible. I know we haven’t spoken for some time now and I don’t know if you care but I just wanted to let you know. So don’t look for me. Take care of yourself. I love you.  
Stiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah Stilinski loved his wife.

Noah Stilinski loved his wife more than anyone in his life. He had loved her the first moment he laid eyes on her and he fell deeper for her every moment he spent with her. When the doctor told them that giving birth could be really dangerous for her, he told her he didn’t want children, that she was more important to him than anyone else ever could. But she wanted to give life, wanted a child to call her own. Her stubbornness won out in the end. The pregnancy was full of hardships, of long days and even longer nights but by the end Claudia won the battle. They had a beautiful son who was everything Noah hadn’t known he needed and so he became the most important person in his life next to Claudia.  
But life was never that easy and so eight years later Claudia was once again in the same hospital but this time there was no hope, no good news, no light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel. Dementia took its toll on her and Noah just couldn’t bear to watch the love of his life perish before his very eyes. So he lost himself completely in his work. He didn’t want to go to a home that didn’t have Claudia’s smile. His life started to center around the Sherriff station and the hospital. He could see the light slowly disappear from her eyes every time he would sit next to her .He let Melissa take care of Stiles. He was just too busy, too tired to deal with a child on top of everything.  
The day Claudia died he wasn’t there. He had been called out for a late shift. When he got the news he rushed to the hospital but he was too late. Stiles had been there, the nurses told him, he had held her hand in her last moments. The guilt came crashing down on him as he saw his nine year old son sitting on the plastic chairs, alone, rocking back and forth. He should have been there for him, for Claudia. The funeral passed by in a blur. Too many unknown faces spoke of her kindness, of her beauty but it all didn’t matter because she wasn’t there.  
He drowned his misery, his sorrow in Whiskey. Forgot everything in order to forget Her. He didn’t know what he ate or who made the meals. It was only about work and then the nice numb feeling. He didn’t stop to think who covered his body with a blanket at night, or who cleaned up after him, or who sat next to him at night telling him all about the things that happened at school, even if he couldn’t hear it. He should have. He really should have.  
If Melissa hadn’t come over that night to knock some sense into him, perhaps he would’ve continued being a drunk forever. Drunk himself into an early grave. But she had, came over and slapped him right across the face, told him to get his shit together because he had a son who needed taking care of not the other way around. She had taken everything he had tried to forget and thrown it right in his face. And at the end while leaving she had turned around and looked him dead in the eye and said, ”Claudia would be disgusted if she saw you today”. And really he had needed to hear it. The shame hit him hard so he stumbled to the rack filled with all the bottles and emptied them one by one in the sink and then threw the bottles in the bin. For the first time in months he looked around, really looked around. Everything was just as Claudia had left it. It shouldn’t have been. The house should have been a mess but it wasn’t and he realized someone had been cleaning it. He stumbled up the stairs, past his bedroom and slowly opened the door to his son’s room. There on the bed a small figure was curled up fast asleep. He kneeled next to his bed and he must have made a sound because Stiles woke up, ”Dad?” he said groggily. Noah noticed Stiles hand covered in bandages, half crooked, half covered burns and cuts and he realized that he must have gotten them while cleaning up and trying to cook. The guilt and shame enveloped him and his body wrecked with sobs, tears streamed down his face as he hugged his son, his baby. How could he do this to his only son?. The only person he had left in his life. He mumbled promises and apologies and Stiles held back just as tight, cried his eyes out because he had never admitted it in front of Melissa or Scott but he had needed his Dad so bad, had missed him so much but everything would be okay now. His dad was back.  
The next day Noah Stilinski was a new man. Gone was the drunk, in his place was a father who would go against the world for his son .But old habits die hard. It wouldn’t be long before his son would start lying to him and the truth would be worse than any assumptions he had made. And once again he would make all the wrong choices. But this time he wouldn’t have a chance to make it better. He would lose his son forever.  
When Noah found out about the supernatural, he yelled at his son. He looked at his son covered in bruises from the latest monster that had made home in their town and all he could see was Claudia’s lifeless body being lowered into the casket. He knew he couldn’t stop Stiles, he was too damn stubborn, too much like his mother, so he want to Derek. He knew what Derek felt for his son , could see it in his eyes the few times they met so Derek could explain the supernatural to him, he also knew that Derek would never admit it to Stiles. So he went to Derek. And he told him to make sure that Stiles was never involved with the supernatural, told him stay away from Stiles because if anything happened to Stiles it would be on him. He used his feelings against him but if that kept Stiles safe then it didn’t matter.  
He could see that they distanced themselves from Stiles, could see his son become sad but it was okay. This sadness was temporary. Friends break apart all the time. He would grow older and be alive. He would find happiness again. And if he still didn’t talk to Stiles it was because he was angry at him for lying all those months.  
He was starting to think that he had been angry at Stiles for long enough when he came back home covered in bruises again and Noah couldn’t look at his face. He cut off his half assed excuse and went back to his office. He just couldn’t put up with all the lies anymore. He should have listened.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles tried very hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an attempted assault scene in this chapter so please if you are sensitive towards that kind of thing don't read paragraph no.8.  
> Also the paragraphs in this chapter a bit longer, I didn't know how to cut them up so sorry for that too.

The first week Stiles stayed in California. He was weak he knew that, hoped that his father would look for him, would realize he was gone. So he stayed close, easily detectable, used his own I.D to get a room in the cheapest available motel. He waited and he hoped and with every passing minute that hope faded little by little, so did the last part of him that he had held onto so desperately.  
A week later he disappeared off the map. He was the Sherriff’s overly curious son who had sneakily read all the case files that his father had hidden in his office. He had spent a lot of time in the Sherriff’s station when he was young and his father couldn’t leave him at home alone to know how they operated, how they searched for people. And he knew enough places where a bit of money could get you an entire new family, at least on the record that is. So he disappeared, went underground. He was a sixteen year old kid but he was smart and he would survive. Just not in the way he had hoped.  
Two months, that’s how long his money lasted him. Two months. He had stayed in the cheapest motels, eaten food that tasted like cardboards, skipped meals where he could, but his resources had been limited, of which he had spent a considerable amount getting a new I.D. He was in New York by the end of the second moth. Practically he knew it would be easier to disappear in a small town somewhere but it would also be easier to starve there. So he chose New York. But it was harder, more than he imagined finding a job or a place to stay. At this point he wished he had brought along his jeep, at least then he wouldn’t have to worry about where to sleep. But leaving his jeep behind had been the better choice. They would’ve caught him in a day. Plus he didn’t want to take the last thing his mother had left to him and destroy it by taking it with him.  
He got a job in a restaurant the second week. The pay wasn’t that good but beggars couldn’t be choosers so he took what was offered. But it wasn’t enough. So he started looking for a second job. He didn’t have any skills that he could use, he didn’t have charisma or extraordinary looks but he looked and looked and at last found a job in a bar. Hid fake I.D showed his age to be 19 and the place seemed decent enough so he didn’t see a problem. He was responsible enough to not drink especially given his situation.  
He worked his ass off, taking any shifts they offered, going entire days without sleeping, skipping meals, saving until he had save enough money that he didn’t need to sleep on the streets and wash in public bathrooms or his work places, until he could afford a small one room apartment. The day he moved into his apartment was perhaps the happiest moment in his life. It was small, so small that he could barely move five steps without bumping into a wall. It was shabby, old and smelled of piss and things that he didn’t want to imagine, but it was his. And that all that mattered. For the first time in more than a year things seemed to look up for him, he had a job, an apartment, he could eat and he could breathe. Freely.  
It didn’t seem to matter that he was working overtime and exhausting his body or that he wasn’t eating enough and what he did eat, ended up in the toilet in the form of puke, or that he was losing weight so much that his bones had started to show or that his apartment was in a bad area that screamed unsafe or that he was alone and scared and was losing time more often now because he couldn’t remember what he did before and after his jobs while he was at home or that sometimes he felt like a guest in his own body like someone else was driving the car while he watched from the backseat and….. and that he needed help.  
A few months into his job, Stiles got a raise. He felt like finally luck was on his side. He celebrated by buying himself a few new shirts and a pair of new jeans and a warm coat because it got too cold in New York. And as he was walking to his apartment he saw an ice cream cart and bought himself a cone and after a very long time he smiled. He ran out of luck soon enough though. Things can never be too good for a person.  
It was one night after he was coming back from the bar late that he felt someone following him. He stopped for a second and looked around but no one was there but he knew better so he started walking slowly and then quickly started running as fast as he could. He didn’t get far though, only a few alleys later someone was pushing him hard and he was falling hard in the dark alley. He felt his elbow knock into something and he let out a pained yelp. A figure pinned his hands and climbed on top of him. He kicked and thrashed but his body was weaker than he had imagined and the other man was far bigger. The man punched him on the face and his ears rang as his vision darkened for a second ,”Stop struggling princess”, the man slurred, “ I’ve had my eyes on you for a few days now, so pretty so fragile and ALL MINE”. Stiles felt fears spreading in his veins and he struggled harder ,”Get off me you piece of shit, get off, HELP SOME---“ he screamed and the man slammed his head against the concrete so hard he started seeing stars.” Shut up you little bitch”, the man hissed and he stuffed some cloth into his mouth. Tears formed in his eyes as he struggled fruitlessly. The man took some more cloth out of his jacket and Stiles quickly took the opportunity to punch the man across the face with his free hand. But the weak punch hardly fazed the man as he once again took hold of his hand and quickly tied them with the second cloth and Stiles realized that this man had come prepared, had thought this through. So he screamed and cried but it was all muffled by the damned cloth in his mouth. Tears ran down his face as the man tore at his clothes and took off his pants and then turned him over roughly. Stiles tried to scramble away but that earned him a punch to the gut. He wheezed and coughed and choked on his breath as he heard the sound of a zipper being opened behind him. He felt the weight of the man pinning him down and he closed his eyes and prayed to whoever was listening to make it stop.  
And it was as if his prayers had been answered because the next moment the weight on top of him was gone. He heard a pained scream and he quickly turned over to see another man pounding his fists into the first man. He watched on as the mystery man beat the other man to shit. Then the man turned towards him and he quickly scrambled back.”No no no no I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m just gonna free your hands and let you go ok? Please don’t be scared”. Stiles slowly nodded and the man stepped towards him with his hands in the air to show that he meant no harm. He crouched down next to him and reached out towards the gag in his mouth. Stiles flinched back and the man grimaced. He slowly reached for the gag again and pulled it out of his mouth. Stiles coughed, the man then reached behind him and undid the bindings on the hands. Then he backed off and stiles quickly rubbed at his sore wrists. His shirt had been torn to shreds but he quickly tried to pull up his pants. He yelped as he tried to stand up and almost fell back down from pain and nausea but the man was quicker and he wrapped his arm around his shoulder and stabled him. “Let me. okay?”, the man gestured to his pants .Stiles felt so shameful but it wasn't like he could do it himself so he croaked out a small okay. The man leaned down and pulled up his pants with one of his hands still holding Stiles upright and then quickly took off his over shirt and helped Stiles put it on. “Come on I’ll take you to the hospital”, he said kindly. Stiles shook his head frantically,” No no I’m not going to the hospital. No I need to go home, I-“. “Okay Okay no hospitals, calm down but you’re not going home alone. Where do you live? I’ll take you there”, Stiles shook his head again and pushed away from the man. His head started to spin so he leaned against the wall, "I'm okay. Thanks for the help but-", his stomach lurched and he threw up everything inside his stomach. His vision had started to become foggier by the second. His entire body was in agony. The man stepped towards him to help him but Stiles backed away even more and held up his hand,"Don't okay. just don't. I can handle myself." .The man looked worried but Stiles had spent a long time alone to take help now especially from a stranger. He ignored the pain taking over his body and took a step. Then another. As he tried to take another step the world tilted on its axis and he fell. But again before his body could touch the ground, the stranger had managed to catch him. Before his eyes closed he saw the mans face. He had eyes red like blood.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles finds a friend.

Hands grabbed at him as he struggled, tearing at him, hurting him. He screamed, pleaded but they wouldn’t stop. All around him were faceless creatures laughing at him, taunting him, calling him weak. He cried for help, cried for his Dad, because his dad was his hero was supposed to protect him. The hands shook him and he heard a distant voice , “Wake up” it said again and again as it got louder…..  
Stiles woke up with a scream stuck in his throat. His body was covered in cold sweat and he couldn’t stop shaking. He couldn’t remember what he had dreamed about but whatever it had been, it had shaken him to its core.   
“Hey you okay?”, Stiles looked up startled and saw a man sitting quite close to him, his mind flashed back to hands pinning him down and he scrambled back against the bed. The man quickly scooted back, ”Sorry I-I was just- You were having a nightmare and I tried to wake you up and—I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you”, he quickly explained. The memories flooded back and Stiles felt shame and gratitude, because without this man he probably would have….. No, It was better not to go there. “Th..thank you, for you know…. Last night. Without you I would’ve…. I wouldn’t have made it out”, Stiles stuttered out. He couldn’t look at the man’s face , too ashamed. “I- You’re welcome. I’m sorry I didn’t get there a bit earlier.”.  
Stiles looked up at the man startled, because No, this man couldn’t think that. “You saved me, seriously and that is more than I expected from anyone so don’t- “, Stiles felt embarrassed by his outburst and looked away. From the corner of his eye he could see the man smile a bit. He looked young, in his early twenties maybe with dark hair and even darker eyes, he had a handsome face cut where overall he gave a hard look his voice was soft and kind.  
“I’m Jason, by the way”, the man, Jason, extended his hand. Stiles shook his hand,” Nathan”. He had been Nathan for a while now, but it still felt weird saying it. The man gave him a quizzical look but smiled none the less.   
That night gave Stiles a concussion, a swollen eye, bruised body, what he could tell was a fractured rib, a shit load of new material for his nightmares and a lifelong lesson. Jason insisted that Stiles stay with him till he was better but Stiles thanked him again and left before he could let himself indulge in the comfort a stranger was offering him.  
Elliot, his boss and the restaurant manager, took one look at him and told him to go home and rest but Stiles still went to his job at the bar where a lot of his work was in the store room and behind the scenes and it was always dark so no one could see his bruised face.  
Even if he felt like crying from pain every time he moved. Even if he jumped a foot high every time someone touched him suddenly and even if he couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes watching him wherever he went. He knew it was only in his head but he just wasn’t able to feel safe. Even after locking the door and windows of his apartment. Every time he went out at night, he felt someone following him, every person going the same way as him scared him. On an empty road he couldn’t help but look over his shoulders every few seconds. He was terrified and alone.  
Stiles left his apartment for a walk outside. The fear was there but he felt if he didn’t go outside he would go crazy. He walked in the busy streets without a destination in mind and ended up near Central park. He decided that was as good place as any and sat down on a bench. All around him were children playing, couples and families enjoying their time.  
He couldn’t help but think back on a time when he had that too. With his mom and dad, later with Melissa and Scott and then with the pack. But it seemed as if he was destined to lose the people he loved. Maybe it was him that was the faulty one. Maybe he was just so unlovable that people just couldn’t help but distance themselves from him.  
Lost in thought, he didn’t notice someone sitting down next to him till they greeted him. “Hey”. Stiles looked u startled and saw Jason sitting next to him, smiling. He calmed his racing heart and smiled back. “Nice seeing you here”, he said. “Nice seeing you too, you sure you’re not following me?”, Stiles replied cheekily. Jason grinned at him,” Nope, only an innocent coincidence”.  
“Hard to believe that I ran into someone twice, by luck, in this city. But okay. If you say so”, he said and then returned to watching the kids. Jason didn’t get up and walk away but instead kept him company. A silent one but company none the less. It was comforting, in a way.   
After a little while , as the sun started to set, Jason stood up and turned to him. “Do you wanna go grab something to eat?”, he asked. And Stiles desperate for someone to talk to, agreed. Ever since he came to New York he really hadn’t talked to anyone outside of work. He missed talking.  
They walked in silence, Jason leading him and Stiles following. They ended up at a Shawarma place a few blocks down, Jason ordered for both of them and paid for both of them. At Stiles insistence to pay for himself, Jason cut him off by saying, ”Next time you can pay”. Which surprised him, he didn’t expect to see Jason again.   
Later after they had gotten their orders and found a good place to sit, they talked. About New York and its people, about movies and music. They had such different tastes, Stiles liked DC but Jason was a hardcore Marvel fan, Stiles loved pop music but Jason listened mainly to hip hop. They bickered and laughed and Jason didn’t ask Stiles any personal questions about his life. And Stiles felt like he could breathe a little easier again.  
By the time Stiles was on his way home, after refusing Jason’s offer of walking him to his apartment, he had a new contact number on his phone and the loneliness in his heart didn’t feel so overwhelming anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are revealed.

It was a few weeks after Stiles had met Jason again and they had been texting regularly. At first Stiles hadn’t texted Jason afraid that he was overstepping but then Jason had sent him a picture of a cute puppy he had seen and his doubts hadn’t gone away but they had simmered down a bit.  
They texted , sometimes a lot and sometimes only once or twice a day, about random things. Jason told him about his job, he worked in a bank of all places, a dog he saw on his way home, some kid bawling his eyes out at his fallen ice cream, his favorite book that turned into a shity movie. Stiles told him about the bitchy customers at the restaurant and the too drunk lady at the bar, the books he liked to read and the random facts that he read on the internet.  
They talked and talked and it was the best thing ever. They were so different but their personalities fit so perfectly. And that made Stiles anxious because he couldn’t grow close to another person and then lose him. So he tried to stop. He stopped texting Jason, stopped replying to him. But Jason was nothing if not persistent, he texted again and again and he called until Stiles picked up.   
They decided to hang out sometime later on a weekend when Jason had a day off and Stiles could afford to not take shifts at both his jobs. It was Jason’s idea and so they went to watch a movie. Afterwards they ate and walked around and talked some more and Jason never asked why Stiles was so jumpy or why he sometimes stopped talking as if afraid he had had spoken too much or why he would sometimes let names of people slip into conversation then immediately shut up or why he had no family or where he came from.  
In return Stiles never asked Jason how he always knew when Stiles wasn’t feeling good or how he could tell when it was about to rain or how he was never cold in winter even when he wasn’t wearing a jacket or why he got so over protective. It was an unspoken decision to not speak about their pasts.  
Sometimes they slipped though. Like once they had been at Jason’s apartment talking about what movie to watch and Stiles had suggested Mulan because it was awesome and Jason laughed and said that his little sister had loved that movie. “Really? Well she has great taste”, Stiles had said and Jason had given him a sad smile. Stiles didn’t ask about her and didn’t judge when in the middle of the movie he saw Jason quietly wiping his eyes. He just sat closer and wrapped an arm around him.  
Or once when once when Stiles had compared Jason to a rabbit, he had growled and Stiles had accidently called him a sour wolf. Jason didn’t say anything as Stiles excused himself to the bathroom the next moment and he didn’t ask when Stiles came back with his eyes puffy and red as if he had been crying. He only hugged him tightly till Stiles stopped sobbing.  
They became closer and closer every day but it was as if their pasts had created an invisible line between them that neither was comfortable enough to cross. But secrets have a way of coming to light whether we want them to or not.  
It was one day when they were coming back from dinner, late at night that a man wearing a face mask cornered them in the alley and held a knife at them threateningly. He wanted all their possessions and Stiles would’ve given it to him but Jason had been acting on edge all day and he snapped. He ran at the man and the man attacked too. Stiles watched with horror as the man stabbed Jason but he didn’t even seem to notice the knife sticking out of his stomach. He punched and kicked until the man ran away scared. Jason turned around to face Stiles. His eyes were red.   
Stiles sighed. This couldn’t be his life. He stepped forward towards Jason until he was close enough to pull the knife out. He watched as the skin knit itself back together; he looked up to Jason watching him strangely, as if he was a puzzle he couldn’t solve.  
“You’re a werewolf.”, It was a fact. Jason nodded.  
Stiles chuckled humorlessly,” This is just my Fucking luck”.  
“You don’t seem surprised”, he said.  
“I had my doubts. The first time I met you your eyes flashed but considering the situation”, Stiles ignored Jason’s wince at the mention of that night,” I thought it might have been my imagination. But then there were other things like you could smell things that in no way you could smell, you could hear way better, you were always warm even in cold weather. I think I knew for a long time I just didn’t want to admit it”.   
Jason sighed and ran his hand through his hair. His shoulders slumped and Stiles could see that he was exhausted, both mentally and physically. “Look you don’t have to say anything or tell me anything. You don’t owe me anything. But if you want to I’m here to listen”, he said instead. Jason looked up at him and smiled a little,” Let’s go home, I’ll tell you and then you can tell me if you want?”, he shaped it like a question giving Stiles room to back out if he wanted. Stiles nodded anyway and they went back.  
Jason was from Maine, from a small, old town. He had a big family, with siblings and cousins and friends, he had a pack. His family took care of the land and the land took care of them. Until a rogue alpha came to town. They tried to reason with him, threaten him, intimidate him but he was far too gone. One night his sister went missing. They searched through the woods and the town. Jason found him covered in his sister’s blood, her limp body shredded and laying on the hard ground. His ten year old, baby sister was dead.  
He doesn’t remember much, except blinding rage and anger, slashing at the monster. He only came to when his mom ripped him from his dead body and held him tight as she cried and he screamed. His eyes shining red. He left town a few weeks later. Because in such a small town there just couldn’t be two alphas, there would be power imbalance and disharmony, they would attract unwanted attention. At least that’s what he told everyone who asked.  
He never told them that every time he closed his eyes he would see his sister’s dead body. That every night he dreamed of killing that monster again and again but it was never enough.  
By the time Jason was done telling his story, he was crying, bawling like a child. Stiles held him, tight and told him it wasn’t his fault, told him that he did good and that he wasn’t alone. The ended up sleeping , cuddled on the couch.   
That night neither of them woke up gasping and screaming from a nightmare they couldn’t remember. It was a peaceful night. One of the many to come.  
The next morning, Stiles woke up to the smell of coffee and pancakes. His back was stiff from sleeping on the couch. He entered the kitchen to see Jason flipping a pancake on the stove. He looked up at Stiles and smiled,” Good morning”, he said. Stiles groaned at him and sat at the counter,” I hate you so much right now. How can you be so fresh, so early in the morning?”. Jason laughed at him,” Not everyone is a grouchy cat who likes to sleep in”. Stiles flipped him the bird. Jason just laughed. He seemed lighter somehow, as if a burden had been lifted off his shoulders. Stiles smiled.  
After they ate breakfast and cleaned the dishes they sat down in the living room. Jason looked at Stiles’ tense form, “What you said to me last night it goes for you too, you know”, Stiles looked at him questioning,” You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to or you’re not comfortable with”, Jason said. Stiles smiles at him, he appreciated the sentiment, “I want to tell you and as far as being comfortable is concerned I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with talking about it”, he replied. Jason nodded.  
Stiles started with the day he took his best friend to the woods to look for half a dead body. He told him about Derek and Peter and Lydia and Boyd and Erica and Scott and Allison and Isaac and Jackson . He told him about Gerard and how he beat the shit out of him. He told him everything till the point he had met Jason. Because once he started he couldn’t stop. He just couldn’t. He didn’t realize he was crying until Jason leaned forward and wiped a tear off his face. He smiled at him. And Stiles continued.  
He told him all the things that he never told anyone. About his mom, how before she died she told him that he was the reason she was dying. That he knew it was because her brain was sick and she didn’t know what she was saying but it still hurt. He told him about his dad and his overworking habits and alcoholic past. About falling for people he could never have.  
Jason listened and when he was done he hugged him like Stiles had hugged him the night before and told him all the things that Stiles needed to hear. And after a long time Stiles felt like he wasn’t alone. After all two broken hearts make a whole.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe all isn't as it seems. Is it okay to hope?.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a very short chapter but i kinda felt like adding to it would ruin the importance of the scene. Hope you guys like it and Thank you so so much for reading this.

Stiles would like to think that after that things got better. You know there’s something about baring your heart and soul to a person and them, actually, honest to God understanding you that makes you hopeful. Even if a part of you still finds hoping to be a futile thing. You hope. You wish. These are the small things that make you who you are.   
But for a long time Stiles had stopped. Stopped dreaming, stopped hoping, stopped believing for a better tomorrow and he had lost himself. Now people think that one day you get this epiphany, this realization of who you are and who you’re meant to be but that is bullshit. Ask anyone who has actually been through it. They’ll tell you how hard it is.   
How finding yourself is like solving a puzzle that doesn’t have all the pieces. How you are doing something ordinary one day like washing the dishes and you find a piece of yourself that you didn’t know existed. It’s hard and exhausting. It takes time. A lot of it.  
And it did take a lot of time, for both Stiles (who revealed his true name and age to Jason) and Jason, but they did it together. After addressing the elephant in the room that was Stiles believing he had dementia.   
It had been a few days after when they had been laying together in Jason’s bed, which they had been doing a lot lately. Interdependency; Stiles had searched it up, two broken people depending on each other for support.  
Jason had looked at him all serious and said, “ You don’t smell sick”. Stiles had spluttered,” wh-what? What does that even mean?”, he had asked. Jason had sat up and dragged him up till he was sitting up too and then he had taken both of his hand in his and said, “You know that I have like super senses right?”, stiles nodded,” Well when you are sick you have a specific smell. The potency of that smell depends on how sick you are. Like if you have flu it’s barely noticeable but if it’s something like Dementia or Cancer. Well then it’s pretty obvious.”.  
Stiles sat there surprised and a little hopeful . “Maybe….. maybe it’s not that strong on me, the smell. Plus you couldn’t know exactly what people with dementia smell like, he said. Jason shook his head, ”I would. When you told me about everything I started suspecting that you might have thought wrong because you didn’t smell sick, but I had to make sure. So I went to the hospital and i…..i sniffed around there and I’m telling you, you don’t smell like you’re sick”.  
Stiles sat there dumbfounded but still unable to believe it.”i..i….don’t_ “. “shhh shhhh its okay”, Jason slid closer and cupped his face in his hands,” It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. I kinda talked to a doctor about it and we can go and get you tested whenever you want. Whenever you feel like it. Just to make sure.”. Stiles nodded shakily. Jason hugged him and laid down with Stiles head on his chest, holding him close.  
A while late Stiles started laughing. Jason poked Stiles,” What’s so funny?”. Stiles looked up at him,” I’m just imagining you walking around the hospital with your nose in the air, sniffing around like a puppy”, he laughed. Jason pouted at him,” Hey!”, he said indignant ,” I’m a wolf, the Alpha predator”. Stiles patted his cheek,” sure you are”. Jason grabbed Stiles by the waist and flipped them over so that Stiles was the one lying on his back and Jason was on top, “ I’ll show you puppy” he said in all seriousness and then started tickling Stiles. Stiles batted and laughed,” Fine! Fine I yield you’re the Wolf man”. Jason stopped and gazed down at him with so much fondness that it knocked the breath out of Stiles.  
“Hey”, he said,” you said I don’t smell sick. What do I smell like?”. Jason looked at him for a moment as if thinking about the right words to say,” You smell like,,, like the soil after rain” he said finally. Stiles gave him the best bitch face he could muster,” you mean I smell like mud?”, Jason chuckled and shook his head. He settled his elbows next to Stiles’ head. Their faces were so close that when Jason spoke next his breath tickled Stiles’ face.  
“In a good way”, he said,” you smell like cinnamon and some flowery scent that I can’t pinpoint, under all of your emotions that is. At the start when we met, you smelled bitter, covered in layers of pain and guilt and sorrow and it broke my heart. But now that all of that is fading little by little, your real scent is becoming more prominent. To me, you smell like home”. Stiles gave him a watery smile and then ever so slowly leaned up, giving Jason time to back out if he wanted,” YOU are my home too”, he said. Jason beamed at him and then covered the rest of the distance himself.   
The first time their lips connected, it was chaste and soft and Jason supped his face as if afraid to break him. Stiles smiled in the kiss because he was falling in love with this man and he was okay with it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles finds his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter is going to be about beacon hills. just a heads up. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Stiles stalled. It was kind of pathetic really if he thought about it, which he preferred not to, but he was stalling. Jason had mentioned going to the hospital several time now, but dropped it every time because Stiles would change the subject or suddenly remember something important he had to do. It was childish but it was his decision and his life so Jason was letting him get away with it.  
But really Stiles realized the importance of the visit himself too, realized that this was something he needed to do. He couldn’t keep on living with demons that he didn’t need to have, with a disease that maybe, just maybe he had imagined.  
It was the hope that scared him, the hope that he wasn’t sick, that he wasn’t going to die. That was the reason why he had left. Wasn’t it?. He had asked himself the same question so many times but he couldn’t find the answer. It was tiring and a few days later Stiles was so done with it that he himself brought up the subject.  
When he told Jason he was ready to go to the hospital, he beamed at him and told him he was proud of him. And really, who was Jason to be proud of Stiles, they had barely known each other for a few months but it was like they had carved themselves into each other. Jason had understood Stiles in a way that everyone else in his life had failed to, his father, his friends………Derek.   
When Stiles and Derek had been friends, there had been something there that had made Stiles believe that maybe Derek understood him. It was the way he would let Stiles rant at him pretending to do something else but then interject with a valid point as if he had been listening the entire time. The way he let him sleepover at his loft when his dad wasn’t home because he knew under all of his layers, he was just a lonely person. Much like Derek. But clearly Stiles had misunderstood, at the end he had only just been imagining things.  
Jason took him to the hospital the next day. He stayed with him and held his hand and rubbed soothing circles on the back of it. And Stiles knew that it was basic courtesy that he tells Jason he could leave, that he could do this by himself. But who would he be fooling?. He needed Jason there, with him to keep him from falling apart.  
They did the tests, one by one, scans and blood tests and the doctor who was a nice middle aged lady assured Stiles that everything would be alright. Stiles hated himself for believing her a little.  
The 10 minutes while the doctor was getting his results were the hardest in his life. He couldn’t stop shaking, thinking the worst things, the worst possibilities. Jason held his hands and told him that everything would be alright, helped him through the panic attack that was threatening to take over.   
When the results came out, Stiles didn’t know whether to be happy or not. At one side he wasn’t going to die because of a disease but on the other hand there was a lot to figure out and think about.  
Jason was plenty happy for the both of them. He jumped up and down and hugged the doctor, thanking her and then hugged Stiles. He then continued to lead Stiles out of the hospital, leaving behind a slightly flustered doctor.   
Jason’s happiness and excitement were infectious, he went around smiling and telling random people on the streets that he was very happy. Some people ignored him, others congratulated him. A guy hugged both of them and congratulated them without even knowing what he was congratulating them for.  
Stiles pretended to be embarrassed but laughed at his antics nonetheless. He let Jason lead the way and Jason clearly had too much energy because he dragged Stiles through the streets of New york, taking him to all the best places, to his favorite ice cream shop and brought the largest serving that they both couldn’t finish. It was like he couldn’t contain his happiness.  
It was the best feeling in the world, having someone who was happier for you than you were for yourself. Stiles looked at Jason and he felt uncontrollably fond.  
After that things got better little by little. After the threat of eminent death was lifted, their lives became much lighter. They started to focus on the little things, like themselves and their relationship. Now, Stiles has spent a long time questioning his relationship with the people around him, it was one of the reasons of what had gotten him there in the first place. He didn’t want that ambiguity between him and Jason. Luckily they were on the same page.  
Before Stiles could bring it up though, Jason got there first. He took Stiles to an amusement park a little outside of the city. He had been acting a little weirder than usual, a little more excited and a lot nervous. When they got there though Stiles realized why.  
Jason insisted they ride the Ferris wheel first and as much as Stiles hated thrill rides, he conceded. He noticed that they were the only ones getting on, he looked at Jason questioning but he just rushed them into the car. It was as he stepped inside that he realized why. The entire car was covered in flowers, colorful ones, adorning every surface.   
Jason took his hand and sat him on the seat opposite to his. The wheel started to spin slowly. “Jason…… Whats all this?”, he asked breathless. Jason scratched his neck nervously and took a deep breath,” Stiles, You are an amazing person and you understand me and I like you… a lot. So will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”, he looked at Stiles hopefully. Stiles chuckled and moved to cup his face,” I have been practically living in your flat for the past many weeks. And if you haven’t noticed I’m kinda gone on you buddy”, he said. Jason kept looking at him the same way though so Stiles rolled his eyes,” That’s a Yes, dummy”. Jason surged forward and crashed their lips together.  
This kiss was so different than the last one. It was passionate and hot and Stiles was panting when they separated. Throughout the ride they kept stealing kisses and giggling like teenagers. It was one of the best moments of their lives.  
Stiles left his apartment soon after and moved in with Jason. They had their problems and fights but they always talked about it and spent as much time as they wanted together as if afraid to lose each other.  
There were still times when Stiles would shut down completely or Jason wouldn’t come back home until late with puffy eyes as if he had been crying. But they understood each other and trusted each other.  
But there was something that just didn’t leave Stiles be. It was his past. He had left everything behind but he still had a father and he had a life that he didn’t need but it was chapter of his life that had been left unfinished. And as much as he tried to hide it, Jason knew him better than he knew himself. He noticed.  
The night Stiles turned eighteen, they celebrated. Stiles reclaimed his own name because by law he could live on his own now and he didn’t have to live as Nathan Padeliski. Jason gave him his gift and Stiles unwrapped it to find a ticket. To California. Jason gave him a sad smile,” You need to find your peace Stiles. I know you want to go back”, he said. Stiles surged forward and hugged him, ”Thank you so much”, he said because it was the truth. He did need peace.  
Two days later, Stiles kissed Jason goodbye at the airport. “Come back to me?”, Jason said and Stiles kissed him again,” I will. You are home”. Jason kissed him again,” I’ll be waiting then”, he said.   
When Stiles boarded the plane his eyes were damp but he knew he would come back, After all no matter how far you go you always come back home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to clarify that this is my first story and I don't really know much about tags and stuff. Another thing is that I'm writing and tagging this story the way i want and so it may disappoint some of you. If i do, I'm sorry. But I'm not going to explain the ending or the story before I've fully posted it and spoil it for everyone.  
> But big Thanks to anyone who has read this story so far. I love you guys and I hope you enjoy it.

Derek had made a lot of mistakes in his life, some bigger than the others. It had cost him the most precious things and people in his life. But most of all it had cost him his family and his happiness. It had started with his tendency to trust people easily, to fall for the innocent face and not realize the ugly monster underneath it. But he had learned though, had learned that love wasn’t for him, that he was forever destined to lose the people he cared about.  
So he stopped loving, stopped caring, built tall walls around himself to protect the people around him. Or maybe to protect himself. Laura always pestered him, told him that he needed to get out there again, he couldn’t live his whole life alone. Then Laura had been brutally murdered and he had buried his heart and feelings with half of his sister’s body.  
Then came Scott, the newly turned puppy and with him his hyper, sarcastic, gangly best friend Stiles. He saw in Scott everything he had been, that innocence that the world wouldn’t hesitate to crush to pieces, that kind heart that was ready to trust every single soul and most of all his tendency to fall for innocent faces.  
In Stiles though, he saw something entirely different. Stiles wasn’t dumb or overly kind. He had such a powerful brain and he was so so smart that Derek could never keep up with his train of thoughts. He was an asshole to anyone who crossed him but he cared unconditionally for the ones close to him. To the ones he loved. And even though Derek never would have admitted it to anyone, he wanted to be one of those people, that Stiles cared about. But most of all Stiles was innocent. He hadn’t yet seen the ugliness of life. Derek never wanted to taint that.  
In the start, he ignored Stiles and Scott, fought against them, tried his best to stay as far away from them as possible. But then they would do something stupid that could have gotten them hurt or killed and he would jump in. Even though they weren’t his responsibility.  
Then Stiles helped him kill his uncle and he realized that maybe Stiles wasn’t as innocent as he seemed. Maybe under all those facades he put on he was also a little broken. And a person can never for long resist the offer of companionship from someone who may just understand him.  
After that came Boyd and Erica and Isaac, who became pack. Slowly but surely he started to open up to them. But most of all to Stiles. They would sit together for hours talking but sometimes in silence too. Understanding the need for solitude but not loneliness. They became closer.  
Sometimes Derek told Stiles little things about his family, about his sisters that used to irritate him, about the tree in the backyard of his house that had a swing from which Laura pushed him, the only remains of which were ashes and a black mark on the soil. He didn’t tell him about Kate or Paige or his mistakes that killed everyone around him.  
He knew Stiles would never judge him, would never run away from him but he was still scared to put the most vulnerable parts of himself , that he had tried for so long to hide, in front of someone willingly.  
Stiles cooked him the meals his mom used to make before she got too sick, cried on his couch on her anniversary because his father drowned himself in booze every year on that day. He knew he could never have Stiles the way he wanted so he became the friend that Stiles needed.  
But they lived in a dangerous world, full of threats and things ready to kill them at every turn. Their life was a dangerous one and he hated that Stiles got hurt every time something supernatural decided to stir up trouble in Beacon hills. But he knew he couldn’t stop Stiles , he was too headstrong, too stubborn and a part of Derek, as loathe he was to admit it, didn’t want him to stop. Because he wanted Stiles closer to him.  
But then the Sheriff had been told about the supernatural and everything had fallen apart. The sheriff had taken the supernatural world fairly well but his son’s involvement in it hadn’t been fine with him. Stiles started arguing with his dad a lot. He would often come over to Derek’s loft because he’d fought with his dad and Derek accepted him with open arms and offered him a place to sleep.  
He understood the Sheriff’s want to keep Stiles away from everything. He was after all the only family he had left in the entire world. Derek understood the need to protect family; he still cared about Peter after all he had done. But he hoped Stiles wouldn’t leave them, the pack and him.  
He never thought he would be the one to make Stiles leave.  
It was a Wednesday morning when someone knocked on his door. Derek wasn’t expecting anyone and Peter had been gone for a few days too. He checked his phone to see if someone had texted him but no one had. He shrugged and slid the door open. He was surprised to see the sheriff on the other side.  
“Sheriff. I wasn’t expecting you”, he said stiffly. He was a little intimidated by the man considering the amount of times he had arrested him and the fact that his son had been spending a lot of time at his place. The Sheriff smelled agitated, angry but most of all worried. “ Derek”, he said,” I need to talk to you about something”. Derek nodded and invited him in.  
It turned out that the Sheriff thought that the best way to keep Stiles safe was to keep him away from everything and the best way to do that was for Derek and his pack to distance themselves from Stiles. Derek refused at first. He knew Stiles, knew that he would blame himself , would try to find the faults in himself. Stiles had confided in him many of his fears and he didn’t want to make one of the biggest one true.  
“I know what you feel for him”, that one sentence was all it took for Derek’s composure to slip. He had tried his best to hide it, hide his feelings but someone had found out, and it was the Sheriff of all people. “ I know you love him”, he said,” Ignoring the fact that he’s just sixteen and underage and you’re an adult”, Derek winced,” I would never-“, he started but the Sheriff cut him off,” I know you haven’t told him, Which shows that you care about him and want the best for him. I also know that he feels the same”. Derek looked at him startled ,”and because of that he will do as you say”, he finished.  
Derek couldn’t comprehend it. At one side he felt over the moon because his feelings weren’t as one sided as he had believed them to be. But on the other hand he had to hurt the person he cared the most about to keep them safe.  
The Sheriff had come, it appeared with his argument prepared because he took all of Derek’s fears and shoved them in his face. And Derek had already lost so much that even the thought of losing Stiles scared him to death.  
So he agreed. He desperately wishes he hadn’t.  
He stopped talking to Stiles. Told the pack to stay away from Stiles. They seemed hesitant at first but they agreed and it made Derek a little angry that they didn’t care enough that they were going to cut away a member of their pack. He knew he was being hard on them but he couldn’t help it. He was hurting the person he loved. Who loved him back.  
He still kept an eye on him though, made sure he was healthy and safe. He hated that Stiles was alone again, that he was one of the reasons he had been cut off from his support system. But if it kept him alive, it was good. He asked the pack to do the same, to keep their distance but to still look out for him. He should’ve realized that they were teenagers and they got distracted easily by the blings and glitters of High school.  
Time passed and the smell of hurt and loneliness grew onto Stiles like a second skin and it physical hurt him to not walk up to Stiles, hug him and take away all his pains. It was getting harder to restrain himself. So he started avoiding Stiles, left town for errands and work more and more often. He forced himself to stop thinking about Stiles, to stop worrying about him all the time because he was safe now, away from them.  
He should’ve known that humans are the biggest monsters and the greatest demons lay within us.  
Then summer started and most of the pack left to visit different places and it gave Derek the excuse to leave too. He left and went to all the places he had wanted to got to, did everything he wanted, drank cheap whiskey even though he couldn’t get drunk and found pleasure on mole covered skin and hazel eyes.  
It was never enough though, everywhere he turned was a reminder of the person he was trying to forget, every laughter reminded him of the lame jokes that Stiles had cracked to make him smile. And he realized he couldn’t do it, He couldn’t destroy what they had, and he couldn’t do that to himself or Stiles. So he drove back to Beacon hills, where his home was.  
He texted Stiles as soon as he entered Beacon hills, called him several times but all his texts went unanswered and all his calls were directed to voice mails. He drove straight to Stiles’ home. He parked his car a few blocks down, ran the rest of the way and then sneaked in through Stiles’ window.  
He didn’t know what he had been expecting but a spotless room, an empty closet and a note on the bedside table was definitely not it. Stiles’ scent in the room was faint as if a few weeks old but it was bitter, filled with sorrow and Derek’s head started to spin. He couldn’t gather his thoughts, couldn’t focus. He took the note and ran all the way to the Sheriff’s station.  
He should never have listened to the Sheriff though, because a man who had immersed himself so much in his work, ignore his son to punish him to the limit that he hadn’t realized that he had been missing for almost a month now didn’t deserve to be trusted. The entire station turned to frenzy. A missing person's report was filed and Derek called the pack and told them to come immediately. They searched and searched but it was as if Stiles had disappeared off the face of the planet.  
But Derek knew that it was because Stiles didn’t want to be found. He was so smart, God, that if he wanted they would never see his face again. But they searched nonetheless, tracked his movements and all they could find was the footages from department store and a third class motel. A week, he realized, that’s how long Stiles waited for them to realize he was gone. But no one had.  
He walked to his loft in a haze that day , he broke everything there, punched through the walls and broke the windows, his hands and feet were a bloody mess but he couldn’t feel a damn thing. When Peter asked him about it, he broke down. He cried and screamed and Peter held him like the uncle he had stopped being after the fire. He cried like he had never allowed himself to cry.  
They knew they couldn’t find Stiles but they didn’t stop searching. The pack grew closer and closer searching for the limb they had lost. But it was never enough. Derek joined the police force and joined the Sheriff on his unending search. Their relationship grew better too, they started understanding each other better, after all they were the men who had lost everything.  
On the day Stiles turned eighteen, more than a year later, they officially closed the case. They would still search but no longer through official means. But it was time for that to come to an end. Three days later the Stiles came back to Beacon hills.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything looked the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to request everyone to please not argue in the comments. I appreciate all your opinions and comments whether they are positive or negative.  
> Thank you guys for reading this and I hope you like this chapter.

Stiles spent much of the plane ride and the bus ride to beacon hills in a kind of a trance. He couldn’t get his thoughts straight. His head swam with different scenarios of what would happen, what could happen. Before he knew it, the bus was stopping and he had to get off. He hefted his bag, took a deep breath and decided to walk the rest of the way, to what used to be his home.

Beacon hills looked the same, as if it had stopped in time when he had left. It made him feel so insignificant that even when he had left, when his life had almost been destroyed, nothing had changed here, nobody had cared then and he was here to find out if anybody cared now. The house looked exactly the same too, and the fact that his Dad wasn’t home was also the same. He knew where the spare key was but he decided to wait on the porch. 

Stiles had been sitting on the porch for a while when he saw his Father’s cruiser approaching. He had already called Jason and he had helped to calm him down but the moment he saw his father through the car’s window he had the urge to flee again. His dad didn’t seem to notice him though. He parked his car and got out, and then he turned around. His face was almost iconic; it was as if he had seen a ghost. He stood there for a minute just staring at Stiles.

“Hey Dad”, he said voice heavy with emotions. Noah rushed forward and enveloped him in a tight hug, he clung on to his dad like a child. He had needed this for so long, he didn’t want to let go. He stepped back though, sooner then he would have liked to.  
“Stiles, What happened?”, Noah said. He looked so happy to see him but also so worried. Stiles cracked a smile, ”It’s a long story dad”. Noah looked at him for a long moment and then pulled him in for another hug,” I missed you so much”, he said. “I missed you too dad”.

Later when Stiles had taken a shower and freshened up, they talked. Stiles asked about his dad’s health and if he had been eating properly and about the deputies at the station that he had been close to. Noah asked him about where he had been, what he had been doing but he never asked why he had left. Stiles was relieved that he hadn’t. He didn’t think he could answer that question. Not yet at least. He told his dad the basics about being in New York and living there. Only the cover of his life. They kept the conversation light hearted. It was only when Noah started asking details that Stiles back pedaled. He faked exhaustion and excused himself to his old room.

As soon as he closed the door behind himself though, his façade dropped. He had come here adamant on the decision that he wasn’t going to tell anyone about what had happened after he had left. He had come here only to find out the answers to all his why’s.

He looked around the room. Everything was as he had left it. Some things were out of place though, especially the things on his desk, as if someone had looked through them. He knew his dad probably had looked through them to search for clues of where he’d gone. He picked up his old notebooks and looked through them feeling oddly nostalgic, remembering the person he used to be. He’d mourn that person and his innocence for the rest of his life.

He laid down on his bed and opened his cell phone. There were a couple of messages from Jason reminding him to eat and to take care of himself and to call him whenever. He smiled and hit call. After a few rings, Jason picked up. “Hey you”, he said, “how you doing?”. Stiles chuckled, ” The same as I was two hours ago. When I called you”. “Did you meet your dad?”, he asked. Stiles sighed,” Yeah, I’m in my old room right now”. “How did it go?”. “ It was …….. fine I guess. Normal. We really didn’t talk about anything important”. “ How are you feeling?”, Jason asked. Stiles took a deep breath and thought about it. Jason waited patiently, not pressuring him for an answer, giving him his time.

“I don’t know”, he finally said, “ I thought I’d feel angry or something or that I’d break down but when I saw him, All I could think was that I had missed him so much”. “Maybe”, Jason replied, “It’s because you saw him after so long. He’s your dad and that’s something that’s never going to change”. He hummed in response. It was silent for a while Stiles too lost in his head and Jason worrying about him. “Stiles?”. “Yeah?”. “I’m here okay?. All you have to do is ask and I’ll be right there. No matter what”. Stiles smiled,” I know”.

Downstairs, Noah picked up his phone and called the one person who he thought needed to know about Stiles return as much as him. Derek picked up the phone on the second ring,” Noah, Is everything alright?”. “Stiles’ back”. The phone cut off abruptly but Noah wasn’t too worried he knew Derek would be here shortly. He put his head in his hands and remembered the son that had returned who was so different from the one he had lost.

Derek had been reading a book when he got the call. He picked it up quickly because as close as he had gotten to Noah, that man didn’t call unless it was an emergency. “Stiles’s back”. Two words. Only two words and he felt his heart beat out of his chest. He cut off the call and tripped in his hurry to put on his shoes. He didn’t care though. He left his car and ran all the way to the Sheriff’s house, because it was faster. It was when he reached the porch of the house that he was hit with the familiar scent that he had thought he would never smell again. Only then did he believe that Stiles was really back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek smiles.

Derek rang the doorbell and only a few seconds later Noah opened the door looking tired, both mentally and physically. He invited Derek in and before he could even ask, told him that Stiles was upstairs in his room. Derek nodded and made to go upstairs. But before he could, the Sheriff stopped him by holding his shoulder,” He’s … different”, he said,” from before so….”. Derek nodded again. 

He wanted to ask the Sheriff if he was okay. He wanted to ask how Stiles was different. How much had his coming back affected him? 

But seeing Stiles was more important. He needed to see him, to look at the person he thought he had lost forever. Standing outside his door, though, listening to the heart whose beats he had prayed for every day, every second he realized he didn’t know how he could face him. How do you face someone you love more than life, but who you have hurt more than anyone else too?

Derek steeled himself and knocked. He had been a coward once, had ran away from his feelings and that had cost him everything. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He listened as to the sound of the bed sheets rustling and then footsteps way quitter then he remembered walking towards the door. There were no sounds of slipping or yelping when Stiles used to knock into things whenever he was in a hurry, or excessive cursing about the shirts and books he had littered around the floor. 

The door opened and there stood Stiles. Derek felt like suddenly the world didn’t exist. It was just them at the moment, him and Stiles. Both standing surprised, looking at one another. Stiles looked the same and in a way completely different. He still had the same eyes that looked older than his years, the same moles creating patterns on his skin but his hair was different, longer, he was a little taller but most of all, It was his scent that was different.

There had been a time when Stiles’ scent had been soft, pure. He had smelled like the soil after rain, like fresh grass, like the flowers that used to grow by his house. Then later all of these had been buried under layers of emotions that stuck to him like a second skin. 

Now though his smell had changed, the base was still the same but it was strongly mingled with another scent. This only happened when you spent a lot of time with someone. Like family. Derek didn’t want to think about that though.

Stiles had been lying in his bed, trying to shut down his mind so he could sleep when he heard a knock. Thinking it was his dad, he got up and opened the door. He didn’t expect to see Derek. Derek, who he had bared his heart and soul to, who he had thought understood him, who he had trusted with his life but most of all Derek, who he had loved. Once.

He stood there, surprised, looking at Derek. He didn’t know why he was there, why he had come, if his dad had called him, and why he looked like he had seen a ghost and a little bit like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. In a good way. Which was strange enough as it was. Stiles wasn’t used to Derek showing his emotions.

“Derek?”, he said finally. Derek’s shoulders slumped. He came forward and hesitantly raised a hand and reached forward, as if scared that Stiles would disappear with the smallest movement. Stiles watched baffled, as Derek slowly caressed his face and as soon as their skins touched, a strange, broken smile came over his face. Stiles breath hitched and he blinked rapidly, wondering if he was dreaming.

“D-Derek? Wh..what..”, he stammered. Derek slowly took away his hand as if wanting to keep the contact for as long as possible. Which didn’t make sense to Stiles. Yes, they had been close at one time, but they had grown apart. It had been Derek himself, who had pushed Stiles away and now here he was acting as if he had been affected by him leaving.

And Stiles suddenly felt angry. How dare he look as if Stiles had hurt him when it was the other way around? He took a sharp step back and Derek looked at him startled. “What are you doing here?”, he said, voice hard. Derek hung his head and stood there for a moment as if collecting himself before he looked up. This time he was smiling, an actual to God smile, ”I came to see you “, he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Stiles looked at him dumbfounded,” why?”. “Because”, Derek replied, “I wanted to. Because I missed you”. Stiles was sure his mouth was hanging open at this point. He couldn’t wrap his head around what Derek was saying and how different he was. The Derek he knew would jump off a cliff than talk about feeling or emotions. This Derek was not what he was expecting and definitely not what he was prepared for.

“You? Missed me?”, he spluttered out and Derek nodded as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. He really was speechless. And maybe Derek realized that because he smiled again. And God Stiles could never get used to how different he was. “I just wanted to see you. Make sure you were really…..back”, he said,” I have now. So don’t……. don’t disappear. Okay?”, he said. The day was full of surprises it seemed because Derek was actually talking about his emotion. In full sentences. Maybe Stiles had accidently jumped into a parallel universe. But he nodded none the less because he couldn’t really bring himself to destroy the hope that he had never imagined on Derek’s face and watched as he slowly backed away and then disappeared down the hallway.  
Leaving Stiles with a plethora of thoughts that he wasn’t able to sort no matter how hard he tried. He stood there for a long time, thinking and thinking and thinking again but he couldn’t really grasp what really was going on. So he did the next best thing to do in such times. He slept. He had a day of confrontations ahead, he needed the rest.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles gets some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. My classes started and it has been one hectic week. I'll try to update as soon as I can,  
> Thanks for reading this and I hope you enjoy it.

The thing is that people, though they don’t realize it, deny it when pointed out, expect. They expect even if they don’t know it. They hope and they want. It’s very…. Human. 

And so Stiles had expected too. He was ready to admit it now. At this point, where he sat alone in his room a week after returning to Beacon hills. He wondered why he had thought that this could ever be a good idea. He looked at everything around him, the room that was his but didn’t feel like it anymore, the empty wardrobe that he refused to hang his clothes in and the bag shoved under his bed, full of the things that he had brought back with him.

He came back knowing he wouldn’t stay but only now did he see how much he really wanted to go. To leave. How obvious it was by even a glance at his room. So he got up and gathered the small things that he had left scattered around in his room. He repacked his bag. But this time around he wasn’t going to run away. He was going to leave and say the final good bye to his life.

It started like it always did with Scott. You know, when somebody hurts you, breaks you down so much that you feel like ending everything and you do in a way, end everything, you leave. A part of you expects that person to realize that they had done you wrong. An apology can’t erase the past but an honest apology can at least cure bits of the broken heart.

But life isn’t like that, people are more complicated than that. They are twisted and they have layers; both good ones and bad. People don’t realize how much their actions affect the people around them, how much a single word can hurt, how far a mean comment can push someone. And they think that if they have been hurt then they have the right to inflict hurt as well. Because it just isn’t fair that they are the only ones suffering.

And that was what had happened between Scott and Stiles. Scott had never been the smartest crayon in the box but the level of stupidity he had reached was surprising, even to Stiles. Now Scott, he wanted a normal life, without the supernatural, without having to worry about being attacked or hunted. Normal life. But Stiles had ruined that, he had been the one to drag Scott to the woods that night , he was the reason why Scott had to deal with everything. 

And Scott didn’t shy away from throwing that in Stiles’ face the moment he was told that he was one of the reasons why Stiles had left. Stiles had expected, and boy was he sorry to admit it, an apology, regret even from Scott. From his brother from another mother, from the person who he had trusted more than anybody else at one point. Obviously, he had been a fool.

Scott told him that it wasn’t his fault that Stiles was hurt or that he had decided to leave. Actually it was the other way around for him. Because how dare Stiles leave him behind when he was the reason Scott got stuck with this curse in the first place.

But Stiles hadn’t come back to take anybody’s bullshit. Scott should have been thankful for the bite, how could he forget the time he had asthma and could barely run a mile without feeling like his lungs were on fire. Now he was the captain of the lacrosse team. He had a scholarship lined up because of that and he could go to college while before there had been no chance of that. They couldn’t afford it and Scott didn’t have the grades . He had a chance for a better life and a better future.

Not to mention, the only reason Allison had noticed him was because of his abilities after the bite.

Stiles told him that, point blank. He also pointed out that he hadn’t been the one to leave; they had kicked him out first. And maybe his words had rang true with Scott because he did the next thing he always did whenever he was cornered; he transferred the blame. This time to Derek.

“It was Derek”, He said,” Derek ordered us to not talk to you and that you weren’t pack anymore. I had no choice”. And wasn’t that a shocker, because the way Derek had behaved the other day, Stiles had wanted to believe that maybe Derek hadn’t meant to push him away at that time.

He didn’t bother calling Scott on his lie because when did Scott ever listen to anything that Derek had said. If he had wanted to he could’ve easily ignored Derek’s order but…… There was no point. You fight like that with people who care. Scott had stopped caring a long time ago and It was high time Stiles stopped too. So he said his goodbyes and he left, ignoring Scotts calls and questions. 

He went straight to Derek’s. The address was the same but the place had changed completely. The building had obviously been renovated and there were a lot more people living there now, the elevators actually worked. 

Stiles knocked on the metal doors of the loft, and although the surroundings looked so different, he was hit with such a strong feeling of Déjà vu. But this time he had checked to make sure that the rest of the pack weren’t at Derek’s.

A few moments later, Derek opened the door. He was wearing a simple blue shirt but it looked very strange on him and Stiles realized that was because he had never see Derek wear anything colorful. Derek seemed surprised but happy to see him. And he seriously marveled at how much easier it had become to read Derek.

Before, he never knew if Derek was glad to see him or if he was irritated just by looking at his face. He had to do a lot of guessing and though he had become better at reading Derek, he still made mistakes. Now though, Derek seemed more open, more relaxed. It was a good thing.

The inside of the apartment was even a bigger shock. It wasn’t covered in colors or anything but it didn’t look like a creepy ruin of a building either. It was painted in greys and whites and the furniture was modern style and matched the theme. It looked like thought had been put into designing it. It was probably Lydia’s work, Stiles concluded.

“I see you’ve upgraded”, he said. Derek gestured to the sofa and sat down on the seat across it. “My therapist recommended it, said it would be good to paint over the old things”, Stiles looked up surprised at that. Because he had told Derek once that maybe he should talk to someone about his past and his trauma and that had ended up with him being ignored for a week until he promised not to mention it again.

“You…. Went to a therapist”, it came out way more skeptical than he had hoped. Derek chuckled, “Yeah, I realized it was a good idea after you…… I needed to heal and get better. So I did”.   
Stiles nodded, ”You really did get better”.  
“I only regret not doing it sooner. A lot of things would have been different then”  
“Like what?”  
“Just…… “, Derek sighed, “A lot of things. Like you and what happened. I would have had less regrets”.  
“So you regret what happened?”, Stiles couldn’t help the sarcasm dripping from his voice.  
“Yes”, Derek looked at him intently,” I do regret it. I’ve been regretting it every single day since you left”. Derek sighed and ran a rubbed a hand over his face,” But I can’t change the past I can only try to do better”.  
“What part of it do you regret?”, he asked because he deserved to know, “Ignoring me or telling the rest of the pack to ignore me too?”  
“You talked to Scott didn’t you?”  
“Why Derek? I thought you didn’t hate me anymore that we had come to understand each other that maybe we had become friends. Was I wrong? If you wanted mw gone you could’ve told me. You should have actually. I deserved that at least. For you to say it to my face-“  
“We WERE friends”, Derek cut him off,” We were. I never hated you. Yes, at the start you got on my nerves but I never hated you”.  
“Then WHY?”, he demanded.  
“Because we wanted to keep you safe” , Derek blurted.  
“what?” Stiles asked in disbelief,” safe?”  
Derek nodded,” The things we faced every day, it was dangerous. More so for you because you were human and you couldn’t heal as fast as us and something’s don’t heal and I couldn’t bear to lose you”.  
“That’s so stupid. Allison is also human. So is Lydia. They don’t have super healing but I don’t see you kicking them out. What made me so different? Did I really look that weak to you?”, he was standing and yelling at this point but he didn’t care.   
Derek also stood up,” Because”, he replied heatedly, “I wasn’t in love with them”.


	12. Chapter 12

Anger was an emotion Stiles was quite familiar with. Anger, sorrow, misery. It's sad and pathetic but it's the negative emotions that have always made Stiles feel strong, made him feel like he could actually do something. It was these emotions that made him pack up his bags and walk away and its was again the reason why Stiles took two steps and punched Derek right in his pretty face.

To say Derek was surprised would be an understatement, the punch wasn't strong enough to actually hurt a werewolf but Derek had stumbled back a few paces in surprise. "Whaa..?", "Are you that stupid? Are you seriously that stupid?", Stiles said, his voice deathly calm, "You love me? Do you really think that gives you a right to do what you did? You love me so what. Does that make me your property, for you to decide whether or not i should hang out with my friends or if i should make a decision for myself or not. Do you have any idea how i felt?". Stiles hated the fact that his voice had cracked at the end, he was so frustrated and angry that he wanted to rip his hair out or smash everything to bits. "I felt so alone, you have no idea. I felt like dying, Derek.", Derek flinched back as if his words had hurt more than his punch. Stiles felt something warm slide down his cheeks and realized that he was crying. He didn't bother wiping the tears off.

"Stiles, I ...", Derek looked as if his world had shattered right before his eyes, " I didn't know". "Of course you didn't know Derek, You never asked me", Stiles practically screamed at him, " You never asked me, you never talked to me. None of you ever talked to me and i didn't know if i had done something wrong or if i really was as worthless as i thought myself to be". "You're not worthless Stiles, You mean so much to me that i..", Derek rubbed his hand over his face. In that moment he looked older, more mature as if he had reached an understanding. 

"I didn't want to lose you, Stiles. I know what I did was wrong. God, I've spent so long thinking about what i could've done differently, and I know i was selfish and wrong and i hate myself for that, more than you hate me. But at that time, after so long i felt myself falling for someone and it terrified me, so much. I was scared of you and scared for you and it felt like pushing you away was the best course of action. But i was wrong and i will regret it for the rest of my life".

"I don't hate you". Derek's looked up baffled, Stiles sighed, "I don't hate you. I wish I did, it would've made all this so much easier. But a long time ago, I loved you, you know, i... I wanted you to be happy and I wanted to be the one to make you happy. I used to think about it, about us so much but then all this happened and i tried to hate you. I tried to put all the blame on you but what you did, that was your own choice. You played a big role in my decision to leave but you weren't the only reason and maybe i would've stayed, had you asked. Actually, no, i definitely would've stayed had you asked but i would've done the same had it been my dad or Scott."

"The point is Derek that you wronged me but i didn't come back to fight you or to tell you about how much all of you fucked me up". "Why did you come back then", Derek asked, his voice sounded strange, a little hopeful and a lot regretful . Jason's face flashed before Stiles' eyes and he smiled, "To get peace. So i can live my life without thinking about all the"why's" that i left with. And so that i can go home". "Home", Derek said," I guess you found somewhere to call home". "Yeah. You can say that, somewhere or someone", Stiles replied.

Derek gave an odd sad smile, " I'm glad that you found someone who makes you feel at home. I know it's not enough and it won't change anything but I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me someday". Stiles looked at him for a moment, at the man he had loved so deeply, who had given him wounds that still throbbed, and realized that he was in pain too, perhaps not the same way as he was but he was carrying demons that haunted him and that Stiles could understand. After all, Guilt and regret are the two most painful companions ."Someday", he said and turned his back to walk out that door. He looked back one last time and saw Derek standing very still and very firm, his hands loose at his sides and he realized that he didn't feel the anger anymore.

"Goodbye Derek"  
"Goodbye Stiles"


	13. Chapter 13

Happily ever after doesn't exist. It cannot exist. There will always be hurdles in life, problems that need to be solved and people who need to be saved. No one can be happy forever but the opposite is true as well. No one can be sad forever either. No one remains broken. Time heals, slowly but surely. It heals the wounds that seemed deadly once, heals even the shattered heart and broken soul. Time doesn't bring it back to it's original form, instead reshapes it into something new, something beautiful.

This was something that Stiles had to learn, something that had seemed absurd at first because when you've hit rock bottom, everything seems useless, hopeless but then there is no way to go but up and so it became his hope, not that everything would go back to the way it was but that where ever he ended up, it would be better than where he had been. He had loved his Dad once, more than anyone else in the world, and he still did. You can never learn to unlove. Your parents form such an integral part of you that hating them becomes impossible. But that didn't mean that he forgave his dad. No, on the contrary he never really learned to do that. He tried, God, did he try but he never could bring himself to so it. He never could bring himself to let go of that sadness that had consumed him once, not in time. 

The confrontation that occurred between the two of them had been explosive to say the least. Years of pent up anger and bitterness, regrets and accusations finally got a chance to reveal themselves. It turned out that his Dad had never really grew into his role as a father and the loss of his wife had turned him distant but scared too. He was scared to lose anyone else and thought if he grew distant, if he didn't care, it wouldn't hurt to lose. But it was impossible not to care. He had failed as a father, never being there for Stiles as a kid and then being too involved and too decisive later on. He forgot that it was never about him, it was about his son too. 

The aftermath was a broken home and two very broken men, sitting side by side, unsure of how to live with themselves and how to move on. Stiles had a choice though, and he very much intended to take it. So he packed his bags, this time not secretly. As he made to leave, he turned around and there stood a very lonely man, who in fear of losing everything, had destroyed everyone around him. But he was still his dad. So he rushed up to him and enveloped him in a hug. You never can learn to hate your parents. This time when he left, his dad knew where he was going and that he was never coming back.

The journey this time was better, Stiles felt less sad and more hopeful. There was a past that was filled with sorrow and grief and pain but there was a future ahead too, that promised better. Stiles almost felt giddy when he knocked on the door and the fact that it didn't even take five seconds for Jason to open the door showed that he had been waiting restlessly too. Stiles rushed forward and kissed him like it was the only thing holding him together and maybe it was. Jason held him in his arms and in that moment Stiles knew he would find home again.

Months later when they sat tangled in their too small apartment, watching some old comedy, with the smell of burned dinner in the air, Stiles laughed and Jason laughed too. They knew they would be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo, its the end. Man has it been a long time coming. I am really sorry for not updating regularly and I want to Thank everyone who has read this story.


End file.
